I want you to do something a little different before you read on. Take a moment. Think about your childhood. Think about your family home, your parents, and what money meant — or didn’t mean — in that household.

Because here’s the thing: your attitude towards money didn’t come out of nowhere. It was built, slowly and quietly, through everything you saw, heard, and experienced growing up. The way your parents talked — or didn’t talk — about money. Whether the household felt financially stable or constantly stretched. Whether money was treated as something precious, shameful, stressful, or simply never discussed.

All of that became the lens through which you now see and handle your own finances. And until you examine it, it continues to run on autopilot — often in ways you don’t even notice.

Step 1: Look Back at Where You Came From

The questions below are not a quiz — there are no right or wrong answers. They’re invitations to reflect. Be honest with yourself. Some of these might bring up memories you haven’t thought about in years.

About your family’s financial situation:

• Was your family financially comfortable, just getting by, or often struggling?
• Did both your parents work? Was your family reliant on government assistance like Bantuan Sara Hidup or subsidies?
• What did your family spend money on freely — and what was considered a luxury you rarely had?
• Was there an open culture of talking about money at home, or was it a topic everyone avoided?
• How were possessions treated in your household? Were things repaired and valued, or frequently replaced?

About money and you growing up:

• Did your parents give you pocket money? How old were you when that started?
• Did you have to earn it — through chores or good grades — or was it given freely?
• When did you first earn your own money? How did that feel?
• What did your family believe about education, owning a home, or eating out? Were these seen as investments or indulgences?

Sit with those answers. You might notice patterns — perhaps a tendency to overspend when stressed, or difficulty asking for a higher salary, or a strong fear of debt even when borrowing wisely makes sense. These patterns almost always trace back to what you absorbed growing up.

For Parents: The Conversations You’re Not Having (But Should Be)

Many Malaysian parents don’t talk to their children about money. Some feel it’s inappropriate — “why burden the child?” Others assume their kids are too young, or that schools will cover it. Some simply weren’t taught themselves, so they don’t know where to begin.

But here’s the reality: if you don’t shape your child’s money mindset, the world will — through peer pressure, social media, advertising, and the culture of instant gratification that surrounds them every day.

Financial education isn’t a single lecture. It’s a series of ongoing conversations, modelled behaviours, and small everyday decisions. And it has a lifelong return on investment.

Start by asking yourself these questions as a parent:

• How do I create a safe, open environment where my children feel comfortable asking questions about money?
• What are the money values and habits I want to deliberately pass on — and which ones do I want to break from my own upbringing?
• How do I respond when my child asks to buy something? Am I teaching them to think, or just saying yes or no?
• Am I including my children in age-appropriate family financial discussions, so money doesn’t feel like a scary secret?
• How do I handle my child’s mistakes with money — as a learning opportunity, or as a reason to take control away from them?

7 Guidelines for Raising Financially Aware Children

If you’re not sure where to start, these principles will help you build a healthy money culture at home:

1. Guide, don’t dictate.

There’s a big difference between saying “You cannot spend that” and asking “If you buy that today, what does that mean for the rest of the month?” One creates obedience; the other builds thinking.

2. Encourage more than you criticise.

When a child makes a good financial choice — however small — acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement works far better than shame.

3. Let them learn from mistakes.

If your teenager spends all their allowance in three days and has to go without for the rest of the week, that’s a powerful lesson. Resist the urge to rescue them every time.

4. Respect each child’s personality.

Some children are naturally cautious savers; others are impulsive spenders. Meet them where they are and adapt your approach, rather than expecting all children to respond the same way.

5. Make money a family topic.

Include children in appropriate financial conversations. When buying a car or planning a holiday, let them see how decisions are made. This normalises money talk and reduces anxiety around it.

6. Be clear about boundaries and consequences.

Children thrive on clarity. “Your weekly allowance is RM30. Once it’s gone, it’s gone until next week” is a simple rule that teaches real-world lessons.

7. Grow the conversation as they grow.

A 7-year-old needs to understand coins and saving in a piggy bank. A 17-year-old can begin learning about PTPTN, ASB, and the concept of compound interest. Scale the conversation to their stage of life.

Your Assignment This Week

Pick just one question from the reflection list above and sit with it seriously. Write your answer down if you can. Then, if you have children at home, choose one money conversation to have with them this week — keep it casual, keep it honest, and keep it age-appropriate.

Changing your money attitude doesn’t happen in a day. But awareness is always the first step. And you’ve already taken it.